Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
