and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
