Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
