u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
