Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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