His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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