The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
