I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
