did you get engaged???
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
