She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
