Already got asked if we're dating
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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