I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
