my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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