i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
