my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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