So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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