dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
