i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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