Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
