Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
