then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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