My friends, they love my intelligence
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
