this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
