How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
