If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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