She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
