listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
