Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
