"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
