I cannot find my penis.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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