He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
