i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
