About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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