No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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