These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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