the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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