Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
