oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just wanna soil my oats bro
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
