Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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