Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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