He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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