I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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