I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
