oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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