Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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