we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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