mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
