They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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