Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
