Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
