I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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