we made out on top of his cat.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
